The Pop Princess
by BrownEyes11
Summary: Well I thought I'd combine two of the things I love to hate. Renesmee forces Jacob to take her to a Hannah Montana concert, and the rest is history!
1. Chapter 1

"Oh but Jake please!" Nessie begged.

I groaned. It was so hard to refuse her when she looked like this. Nessie, although only 2 years old, looked and acted like your average seven year old. Your average seven year old with an incredibly hard to refuse puppy dog face, and an un-dying love for Hannah Montana.

"Come on Jakey! It's not fair! I wanna go sooo bad!" she begging now, practically on her knees.

"Nessie, I love you. But there is no way that I'm going to sit through 3 hours of live Hannah Montana!" Can't you just listen to a CD or something" Nessie had a good puppy dog face, but I did too.

"No! It's not fair!" she screamed for the second time, "everyone in my class is going!"

She flopped down on her bed and sighed a why-does-everyone-hate-me sigh.

I'd said I loved Nessie, and I did, but there was no way I was going to take her to the Hannah Montana Live Concert, in the Olympia Amphitheater that weekend. I just couldn't do it. I shivered as I pictured legions of squirming, sticky, seven year olds belting out the lyrics to Best Of Both Worlds.

"Why can't mommy and daddy take you?" I whined.

"Cause they're going on vacation that weekend, and I can't come!" she wailed again, a long, high sound that nearly burst my ear-drums, not to mention shattered every glass surface in the room.

"What was that?" asked Esme, suddenly in the room with us. "How did this mess happen?"

"I was just- I began to explain, but Nessie cut me off.

"He was just heartlessly refusing to take me to the Hannah Montana concert this weekend! It's not fair! Grammy, why does he hate me?"

Oh great, the old guilt card. No getting around it now. Here it comes…

"Oh, is that all?" Esme said as she began sweeping up the shattered glass. "I see no reason why you can't take her. I'll go order your tickets now."

With that, she finished clearing away the glass, and swept down the stairs to order two tickets for what was bound to be the worst night of my life.

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight (really people, this is ****fan-fiction**** website. If I owned it, I'd be out making money, not sitting here at my computer, typing stories for you people) or Hannah Montana**

**Reviews make me happy! Please make me happy!**


	2. Chapter 2

As we approached the amphitheater, Nessie gave me a smug look, as if to say, "told you so".

I still couldn't believe I was doing this. The whole the-imprinter-gives-the-object-of-his-imprinting-whatever-she-wants thing was getting really old.

"Thank you so much Jakey!" Nessie squealed, and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe seeing her this happy was worth it. Just then, we pulled into the incredibly long line of cars for the concert, stretching out of the amphitheater entrance. Maybe it wasn't.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, ruffling her bronze curls, "but remember, you owe me."

She just smiled and snuggled into my arm. Maybe I didn't want to be here, about to listen to the so-called (by Nessie) Pop Princess belt out the lyrics to her fluffy, meaningless songs, but if it was making Nessie happy, then I guess I could bear it. So long as there wasn't any confetti. If there was confetti, we were leaving. I hated confetti, I couldn't deal with it. Not since…The Accident.

I was jolted out of my internal chatter by the bored voice of the ticket attendant, telling me to please move forward. Through the glass, I could see an overweight man with thinning brown hair and a bored expression on his pudgy face. His nametag proclaimed him to be Sam.

I smiled at Sam as he handed me our stamped tickets, and he stared at me blankly. Poor guy. He was probably almost dead with the tedium of this job, and I felt bad for him.

"Are ya' gonna move?" Sam asked in a superior voice "or am I gonna have to move you?" Hhmm, suddenly I didn't feel as bad for him as I did before. I hated when people acted all superior like that, and I couldn't resist knocking him down a few pegs.

"No sir. I'm gonna stay here and stare at your ugly rat's butt of a face all night."

He looked shocked as we pulled away from the window and into the parking lot, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"That wasn't very nice." Nessie said, but I could tell she was trying to hide a smile.

We entered the lobby of the Amphitheater, and were immediately bombarded by the screams of over 500 seven year olds. It was going to be a long night.

I pulled Nessie into an only slightly quieter corner and began to lay down the law.

"Okay, don't let go of my hand. Tell me if you go anywhere. Don't talk to strangers, and don't get us in any trouble," I had to yell and strain my ears over the cacophony, but I could just barely make out Nessie's words.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She said, rolling her chocolate brown eyes at me.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, don't "yeah, yeah, yeah" me! You will follow these rules or we are leaving!" The words were harsh, but I said them with a smile to soften the blow, and she knew I wasn't trying to be mean.

She slipped her small hand inside my large one and together we walked toward the entrance to the main theater to find our seats.

"Okay, we're looking 33A and 33B. Do you see them anywhere?"

This was really confusing me, and I was just about ready to give up and sit on the floor when Nessie began pulling me toward two seats in the front row.

"C'mon Jake, hurry up! The shows gonna start soon!" She tugged on my hand insistently and dragged me to the seats.

It was a relief to sit down after walking practically a mile around the theater, trying to find our seats. Just as I was beginning to relax, I heard Nessie's small voice in my ear.

"Jakey…I gotta pee."

This was something I had not been prepared for.

"Ummm…okay. C'mon, let's go."

We rose out of our seats and navigated our way around all the other people in their seats, and the trash that littered the red-carpeted floor.

"Okay here we are. Do you want me to come in with you?"

I prayed her answer would be no. The last thing I wanted was to spend time in the women's restroom.

"Eww, gross! No way!" she said, and pulled out of my grasp. I watched as she entered the bathroom, thankful that I was not with her.

It suddenly occurred to me, I didn't know what to do. I could stand next to the bathroom door and wait for Nessie, but I'd risk looking like a stalker. I could also wait for Nessie back at our seats. I vetoed the latter immediately. She probably get lost, and then Bella would kill me. Literally.

So I stood there by the women's restroom door, receiving many odd looks from people and I waited. And waited. And waited.

What if something had gone wrong? I began to wonder. What if Nessie was, I don't drowning in the toilet or something? I pictured her stuck in the white porcelain bowl, wet, crying, gasping for air, and acted without thinking.

I shoved open the bathroom door and ran inside, screaming Nessie's name, probably looking like some sort of maniac, when I noticed Nessie. She was standing at the sink, and had obviously been washing her hands, but was now just staring at me, along with everyone else in the restroom.

"Ummmm, hi girls. What's up?"

Before anyone could react, I grabbed Nessie and ran out of the room.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" she screamed, "Jake, you're so embarrassing!"

"Look, I'm sorry. You were in there a long time and, well, I got worried." It was a lame explanation, but it was all I had.

"So you came barging into the girls bathroom?" she said in disbelief, " I can't believe you!" and with that, she turned tail, and began to march back to our seats, not even looking at me, with me trailing behind.

Yeesh, I thought.


	3. Chapter 3

We were back in the theater, in our seats, and Nessie still wasn't talking to me.

"Oh c'mon Ness," I begged for the millionth time, "I'm really sorry. I was just trying to make sure you were okay."

Nessie sighed and turned to face me.

"It's okay," she relented, "I know you care about me and don't want me to get hurt. I'm sorry for getting all angry at you."

I pulled her close and we hugged. The conversation would have gone on longer, but just then, a blonde girl in a multi-colored, sequin covered dress that left little to the imagination strode onto the stage and threw her arms in the air, excepting the audiences applause.

Nessie broke away from me and, along with most of the audience, stood up in her seat and jumped up and down screaming Hannah Montana at the top of her little lungs and straining for a closer look.

"Alright everybody!" Hannah Montana yelled into the mike, "Are you ready to get this party started?"

There were once again screams from the audience, and the music began to play for the song "Pumpin Up The Party".

"Hey! Get up! Get loud! We're pumpin up the party now!" Hannah belted out, and I could feel the deep bass reverberate in my bones.

Nessie was standing up, stomping her feet and dancing, singing along with the music. She looked so adorable, free of the pressure to act like a seven year when she was really a 2 year old. As the song came to a close, Nessie turned to me and grinned. She was out of breath and her curls were flying everywhere. Her cheeks were bright red, reminding me if her mom's. She'd never looked more beautiful.

"Thank you so much for taking me here, Jake," she yelled to me over the roar of the crowd, "I really love you!" she kissed my cheek lightly and hugged me tightly until the next song started.

Then she flashed me her dazzling smile, leapt gracefully to her feet, and began to sing along with the music of the next song, "Who Said".

Everything was going great, and as I watched Nessie smile and dance, I thought to myself that it really had all been worth it.

Then the confetti came.

**Disclaimer- How many times do I have to tell you people, I don't own Twilight, only in my dreams. And if my dreams were real,** **than my dad would be a professional unicyclist, and he and my mom would be eternally dressed as a carrot and a piece of broccoli. I also don't own Hannah Montana. Thank God. **


	4. Chapter 4

Ever since my fifth birthday, I've had a problem with confetti.

For that birthday, I had a green frog shaped piñata, a blow-up bouncy house, and a giant green cake with three layers.

When it came time to cut the cake, my dad told me that because I was five now, I could handle the knife. I was so excited, so happy.

I took the knife from him and slowly, carefully cut into the cake.

As it turned out, good old dad had hidden a surprise in the cake. A confetti rocket.

It just so happened that when I cut the cake, I cut into the rocket, and it went off, right into my left eye.

I screamed and cried and was rushed inside to put an ice pack over my eye. Of course I was fine, but ever since that day, I couldn't stand confetti.

So it was especially horrible for me when suddenly, large, colorful streams of confetti were shooting up all around the room, including one right next to me.

I just couldn't help it. This was too much.

Nessie had turned to me to exclaim over the confetti, but I didn't even see her. All I could see was the horrible, terrifying, colorful confetti that was now raining down on us.

I screamed like a little girl, and then I felt myself falling.

I hit the ground, and then everything went black.

Disclaimer- still don't own Twilight or Hannah Montana

**A/N- What will happen next? Will Jacob meet Hannah Montana? Will a fat, old lady attempt to save Jacob and perform CPR? Will bananas destroy the world? (no, for those of you dumb enough to think so, that's not a real option) YOU can help decide! Vote for one of these ideas or come up with your own! Put your vote and/or idea in your review! So review! Now! * twitches***


	5. Chapter 5

I awoke and found myself staring into the face of an angel.

Upon closer inspection however, I discovered that this particular angel was wearing way too much make-up, and a crooked blonde wig. Okay, not an angel, but Hannah Montana was good too.

"I think he needs mouth-to-mouth!" Hannah exclaimed, and leaned towards me.

When I felt lips connect with mine, I began kissing them, only to realize that they didn't belong to The Pop Princess.

I opened my eyes just in time to see a sweaty, fat, nurse. This day just kept getting better and better.

"You little pervert!" she shrieked, and fled the room.

Hannah and Nessie were both looking at me kind of strange now, and I could feel the blush rise to my cheeks.

"That wasn't…I mean…I didn't."

"Oh, I know!" Nessie said, "but you shoulda seen the look on your face! Priceless!" She exclaimed.

"Yah, it really was pretty funny!" Hannah said, "not to laugh at ya'll expense or anything."

She really was hot, in that Hollywood kind of way. Too much make-up, glitter, and a body that probably wasn't natural.

"So, um, how long was I out for?" I asked, partly fearing the answer.

"Only, like, ten minutes," Hannah assured me, "we have a really good emergency response team here. But what was it that made ya'll faint? Are you, like, asthmatic or something?"

"Uh, no. It was the um, confetti." I prayed she didn't ask me to elaborate. This was a story I hadn't even told Nessie.

"What about it?" she asked, pressing for more information.

"Well, you see I um, I'm scared…. of confetti."

With that, Nessie, and Hannah Montana, the so-called Pop Princess, doubled over in laughter. Great.

When they'd calmed down enough, I sighed and began to tell the whole story.

As Nessie and I walked back to the car, I tried to tune out her constant chatter, and think. I had just told the object of my imprinting, and The Pop Princess my biggest secret. And there was no way it was going to stay a secret.

"Nessie, please!" I begged for the millionth time on the car ride home, "you can not tell anyone about this!"

"Hmmmm," she pretended to consider, scratching her chin, "nope, not a chance."

"Aww c'mon! I just sat through Hannah Montana for you! You owe me! Can't you just cut me a little slack here?"

"Oh, alright." She relented, and I could tell she had been planning on it the whole time.

Good, now my secret was safe.

The next morning at Cullen house

I awoke to the feel of warm sun beating down on me and slowly got out of bed. I still wasn't completely sure I could trust Nessie on this whole "don't tell" thing.

As if I'd summoned her, Nessie appeared and places her small hand on my cheek, transferring memories of last night's disaster to me and giggling.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, very funny. But we're not going to tell anyone, are we?"

She solemnly shook her little head, her curls bouncing.

"Alright then." I said, and we headed downstairs.

"Yo, Jacob!" Emmett called, waving a newspaper, "check this out!"

"Yeah!" Bella said giggling, "you're famous!"

I had a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach as I took the paper from Emmett and read the headline aloud.

" Teenage Boy Faints At Hannah Montana Concert."

Underneath that, in smaller letters, there was a quote:

"I'm scared of confetti."

The article went on to explain the entire story I'd told to Hannah and Nessie, and what had happened after I'd passed out.

Well, I thought to myself, I've learned two things:

Don't take Nessie to concerts anymore.

Never trust Pop Princesses wearing blonde wigs.

**Disclaimer- Nope, still don't own them.**

**A/N- Yes, I know Jake is imprinted on Nessie, but she's too young for him to love her **_**that way**_**, so he can still find other girls attractive.**


End file.
